Blood 'Crazy' Gulch
by DaPika
Summary: First in a trilogy of stories. More people join the crew during their time in Blood Gulch adding to the craziness and overall plotline. Pairings undecided except for ChurchxTex, no homo pairings please, (Not Homophobic).
1. Chapter 1

When I came here, I expected something somewhat professional, however it doesn't seem to be that way, everybody seems laid back and relaxed here, almost lazy, apparently they either stand around, talk, eat, drink, sleep or get the shit kicked out of them by the only female member of the team and thats what I've learned in what, 5 hours, yeah, this place will make me go insane, if I don't kill myself first.

Diary of Alexander 'Pika'**(1) **McPhail

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><p>0804, 2912/2553**(2)**

Alexander's transport was just about to land, the atmosphere was humid and the star of which this planet orbits was blaring hot, it was hitting its 'Solar Maximum' so what could you expect, really? The small craft parked itself behind Blue Base, he was on said side, don't ask why, he didn't have a clue, he didn't really see the point of this war but this was what he had to do for who knows how long, very likely until he died and that could be anything from 3 minutes to 70 years, large scale, very large scale, could you blame him, though, the canyon looked ridiculously peaceful for a war zone. After the rear hatch door had opened he stepped outside the ship for the first time in a day, to get greeted with a punch to the stomach, not that heavy, however it could be lighter, a voice came from the person who punched, "If you can survive that, then you are good for duty, Church!, this one is definitely ready!".

"Thats good, Tex, go back inside the base and fix that idiot Caboose's shooting skills", a man in cobalt armour came out of the base.

The soldier in black armour left to fix this Caboose's marksmanship, "Name, Age, Height, Nationality, Rank, Class, IQ and Armour Colour".

"My name is Alexander McPhail, 19 years, 5'8 Scottish, Private, Engineer/Ballistics, 140 and Cambridge Blue".

"We need to give you an nickname, you're short for a man, hmm, I'll ask around, anyway, follow me, or we might end up calling you lazyass and can I call you Alex?".

"If you want but I don't see how thats relevant".

"Good, its relevant as we all are either called by our surnames or by our nicknames, sometimes, it would be good just to call someone by their first name, catch my drift?".

"Yep".

They finished their chat and walked towards Blue Base, it was ta this point that they heard shouting from Tex, "God fucking damn it Caboose hit the fucking can, you fucking idiot".

This Caboose person must have horrible aim but he put his thoughts of the one called Caboose on the back burner when entered Blue Base, it was very messy and there was pieces of machinery everywhere, from the left room, the kitchen, he heard singing, from the right room, the random room that has been used for many things, he heard more and more enraged screams from Tex and stupid replies from the one he presumed was Caboose, who sounded retarded. It was at this moment that the singing person in the kitchen came out, he didn't have his helmet on and was easy to see that he was African-American, "Oh hey Church, is this the new kid?".

"Yes, Tucker if wasn't that obvious", Church was quite clearly aggravated.

"Uh, what's his name?".

"His name is Alexander McPhail and Tucker, its fucking spelt M-c-P-h-a-i-l, so don't get any ideas".

"Yes, I get it, do we just call him Alex?".

"If you want", Alex replied instead of Church.

"New guy, he asked me the question, let me answer it for myself but yes what he said".

It was at this moment Tex walked into the room, helmet off**(3)**, her blond hair contrasting very clearly with Tucker's black hair, "I've had it with that idiot, Church, its impossible, also new kid we haven't seen what you look like. take off your helmet".

"Uh...sure", Alex took off his standard shaped Blue Team helmet and placed down on the floor, he had short and scruffy chocolate brown hair, pale green eyes and nothing else that unique, he looked fairly standard.

"Your very bland, you know that kid", Church commented.

"Yeah, I know and you know what, I don't care".

"Fair enough, oh yeah, we need to give this guy a proper nickname 'cause he's short".

Silence hung over the room for about 40 seconds, until Caboose spoke up, "How about we call him small?".

"Caboose, thats a stupid idea, how about we call him Pika, as in the animal, not the Pokemon", Tex suggested.

"What are Pika's like?".

"They are small mouse like animals".

"Good idea, Alex you will now be called Pika".

"You lot have been going on about nicknames but the only other person here with something that resembles a nickname is Tex", the now called Pika stated.

"Good point, uh, my nickname uh, anyone think of anything?"

"Bossman".

"Grumps-a-lot".

"Blaze Blue or simply just Blaze".

"That one sounds good, from now on my nickname is Blaze, now Tucker".

"Sex-maniac".

"Lavatory".**(Get the joke?)**

"Moron".

"Abyss".

"Wait I like that one, my nickname is now Abyss".

"Doesn't suit you but whatever".

"Caboose's nickname should be Psycho and nothings gonna change that".

"Good, Pika, you're room is in there", Tex pointed to average size room next to the random room that is used for anything.

"This is gonna be long and hard" **(Not a sexual joke).**

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><p><strong>(1)=This not my real name but I had give him my go-to name, if you call me that i'll answer you.<strong>

**(2)=Picked a random**** date from the era.**

**(3)=Robots are more with hyper realistic faces that will be changed to the robot's will, groinal mechanisms work like normal groinal organs, children can be born to robots, like cyborgs and smaller baby robots(Yes, in this story, technology has gotten that advanced).**

**Ciao**


	2. Chapter 2

**Since I like to balance things out, though it tends to take me a while, have a female Red. (This is just after they defeated Omega, so no Sister, infact, Kaikaina 'Sister' Grif may not appear in this story at all).**

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><p>Two hours after 'Pika' arrived at Blue Base, a transport arrived behind Red Base, out came a soldier wearing the female version of the Pioneer armor with a regular Spartan-type helmet<strong> (The one they all wear, just pretend that they are at least in Halo 3 right from the get-go)<strong> which was Alizarin Crimson in colour which was only a few shades lighter than the standard issue red. Stepping off the ramp she noticed someone in maroon armour and a chubbier one in orange? armour arguing about something, maybe something to do with their jeep-thing. That was when a person in pink armour appeared right in front of her out of nowhere, "Hi!".

The woman had just gotten the fright of her life, using a technique she liked to call 'open-mind subconscious meditation' to calm herself down, she looked down at the list of soldiers currently active at Blood Gulch to see who this one is, when the weird man in pink armour said, "My name is Franklin Delano Donut but please, just call me Donut".

"Er, yes good to know but where is the leader of this team?", she spoke with an Australian accent.

"Sarge?, he should be here", Donut turns around to see Sarge approaching at a brisk pace, "There he is now".

Sarge approached her before stopping a couple of feet in front of her "Alright, soldier", he spoke with a gruff southern accent, "What is your name?".

"Siobhan**(For those of you who do not know, its pronounced Shi-von)** O'Hara".

"A female soldier, eh, haven't had one of them on ma team before, now, I know this is supposed to be rude but it is in regulations, what is your age?"

"I'm 21".

"I can tell you are taller than everyone here except Simmons but what is your exact height?".

"6'5",** (Simmons is the tall nerd who is about 6'8).**

"What is your race?".

"Australian of Irish descent".

"What was the capital of Assyria?". **(For the lols)**

"Assur".

"Fuck, I thought that question would catch you out, ah, well, data file has been finished, you are now a full member of the Blood Gulch Reds, congrats".

The chubby guy in, what was it?, orange armour, I think, walked up to her, "Sarge is a bit of a slave driver but you'll find that most of your time here is rather laid back and lazy, unless some weird thing happens, which, in the past two years, is quite common for us but the weirder stuff happens to the Blue Team, trust me, you may want to kill yourself after a couple of months but you could get used to it, ah well, I suspect something is on the horizon".

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><p><strong>A short chapter, who cares, its just a build up.<strong>

**Ciao!**


End file.
